17.10.17

Push And Pull feat. Artwork by Ellie (a re-post)



Sometimes, you don't really need to put your works of art out into the world. All you need is to connect with the right people who share the same passion for creativity and artistic expression--be it through poetry, music, or visual arts. And yes, I just proclaimed myself a member of the artistic crowd. Lels. 

BUT let's talk about the real artist here. The drawing above is a work by no less than Ms. Ellie Bañez, my very talented former officemate, whom you probably remember from the artwork for The Admission. I cannot thank Ellie enough for offering to collaborate with me (collaborate daw oh!) and for using my poems as inspiration for her drawings. This is exactly the kind of exchange that feeds your creative soul. Ganito kaming mga artists mag-brainstorm. CHAR. 😂 Thanks again, Ellie! Looking forward to more of your drawings!

The above artwork is Ellie's visual interpretation of the poem "Push and Pull."

***


I'll take whispers
If that's the only way you can tell me
We're too close for comfort
We're too far to hear each other's hearts

I will, if you will
Say it and I'll echo your words
The same thoughts are running
Why can't we face what's obvious here?

This space in between
That only courage can cut through
Tell me what you're thinking
I'll confirm what's on your mind

I will, if you will
Our someday is now
Let's say the words we need to hear
Get our doubts out of the way

I won't move if you step closer
I've waited too long to back out
Come to me without reluctance
This push and pull ends now

***

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27.7.17

How Can I Get Your Love


Natatawa ako kay Anne Curtis. Recently she's been expressing her fondness for Korean dramas. She's one of the neophytes in the growing community of mga nilamon ng K-drama. At first I thought she only liked Gong Yoo (which of course, I didn't take lightly as she posed a threat to his and my potential marriage. LOL!) But then last night I saw these screenshots from Twitter of Anne liking and commenting on Lee Sung Kyung's Instagram posts:

 

 


May pa-"yeppeuda" na si ateng! Stage 4 na ang k-drama virusHahaha! Anyway, I can't blame her. Lee Sung Kyung is very girl-crush material. In fact, she just became one of mine. She embodies all my frustrations.  She started as a model so she has long legs than can bridge South Korea and Japan (ito pa lang, pack-up na). Apart from acting, she can also sing, dance, and play the piano--and I don't just mean playing para masabi lang na marunong, unlike someone I know (me. Lels). She's really good! 

This was from her IG.


This one is from her appearance on the TV Show, Taxi (skip to 1:16)


Diba??! Kaloka this girl. And she has this outgoing, boyish personality that always gets my vote. In more apt words, "SUHWEEGGG!" That's why I'm with Anne on this one. Comment pa more, Anne! :))

Like everyone else, I learned about LSK's existence through her most recent drama, Weightlifting Fairy. I am CRRRAZYYY about this drama I can't even express how much. I watched it just this month because may paandar ako na I don't like watching popular dramas while they're airing (except Goblin, because Gong Yoo) kasi nga I'm unconventional kuno, only to give in months later and be addicted to them just like the rest. Late bloomer ako, sorry.

Anyway, even though I'm more inclined to fangirl over female celebrities, in the "Weightlifting" drama I found myself more hooked on Jeong Joon Hyung (male lead played by Nam Joo Hyuk). HE IS THE SWEETEST GUY IN THE WHOLE, WIDE, K-DRAMA WORLD. Forget Kim Shin (Goblin), Joon Hyung is every bit the boyfriend every girl could hope for. He's sensitive, caring, sweet, very expressive of his affection for Bok Joo (LSK), loyal, supportive, loves his family, and has just the right amount of playfulness in him. He's dependable and Bok Joo can be herself around him without apprehensions, and they encourage each other to be better, too. Bok Joo, how to be you poAng haba ng hair mo, girl!

YES, JOON HYUNG, I CAN SEE! 

SIGH. This is one of the drawbacks of watching too many k-dramas. It gets you frustrated when you're done watching because a character like Joon Hyung is a unicorn. Fictional. Unreal. Mythical. Nonexistent. A fantasy. Or is he? May katulad ba talaga niya, Lord? Pwede pong magpa-reserve? LOL.

Even though I'm done watching the drama I'm still repeating some of the episodes, and even still search for clips on Instagram. I really love Joon Hyung, he makes my heart flutter. CHAROT! Tume-twenties? Hahaha! The drama has some great songs on its soundtrack, too! Kim Jong Wan, the lead singer of my favorite Korean-indie band Nell, has a track in the album and it was Bok Joo and Joon Hyung's theme in the drama. Apart from the melody, I also like lyrics. Naturally, it's been on loop in my Spotify for the past few days. KJW's voice really has that calming effect and his songs are very coffee shop playlist-worthy. Same with Han Hee Jung's "Dream." Another one of my favorites is "I'll Pick You Up" by Standing Egg, a k-indie band that I also follow. Check them out below:

WEIGHTLIFTING FAIRY KIM BOK JOO
OST PICKS

YOU and I - Kim Jong Wan (Nell)

How can I get your love
How can I make you smile
This heart-pounding fluttering feeling
Is coloring my heart

What can I do but dream
Living in a dream all day
I wanna have courage and invite you
Will you come to me? In my dream?

I don’t know where this feeling came from
Only I know about this small trembling
I’m trapped in a sandcastle that I made myself, like a little boy
I’m still lost, looking for that dream
Shall we dream together now
You and I

How can I win your heart
How can I make You mine
Very slowly, I will tell you
Will you come to me? To a dream we can share

I don’t know where this feeling came from
Only I know about this small trembling
I’m trapped in a sandcastle that I made myself, like a little boy
I’m still lost, looking for that dream
Shall we dream together now
You and I

I'LL PICK YOU UP - Standing Egg
The love that withered inside of me
Has it come back to life
In my calm heart
You brought butterflies

Today more than yesterday
Tomorrow more than today
If I only have you, I think I’ll be happy

I’ll pick you up, wherever you are

Is it too late? I’ll run to you
I’ll pick you up, so you won’t regret
I’ll wait for you
I’ll pick you up right now

Your normally bright face
Why is it so dark today?
You are the sweet rain
That fell in my dry heart

Today more than yesterday
Tomorrow more than today
If I only have you, I will brightly smile

I’ll pick you up, wherever you are
Is it too late? I’ll run to you
I’ll pick you up, so you won’t regret
I’ll wait for you
I’ll pick you up right now

Because you colored a pretty rainbow inside of me
There is a bright smile on my face
The only one person, I’ll pick you up

Just one time, a little more
Will you place me inside of you?

Today more than yesterday
Tomorrow more than today
If I only have you, I think I’ll be happy

I’ll pick you up, wherever you are
Is it too late? I’ll run to you
I’ll pick you up, so you won’t regret
I’ll wait for you
I’ll pick you up right now


DREAM - Han Hee Jung

I’ve been hesitating for a while
In front of the time that is to come
I go back and forth from excitement and worry
Over and over again
Time keeps rushing me
We’re suddenly at the end of the road
I’m dreaming, I hope it will be eternal happiness
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be green days ahead
Even if cold wind blows over to us
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be more smiling days
Than days wet with tears
Although the seasons change
Can’t we just stay as we are?
I’m dreaming, I hope it will be eternal happiness
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be green days ahead
Even if cold wind blows over to us
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be more smiling days
Than days wet with tears


*end*


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24.7.17

The Admission feat. Artwork by Ellie (a re-post)


I have always wanted to incorporate visual interpretations of my writings just to give Lang Leav a fair fight (lol), but I really can't draw to save my life. Luckily Ellie, my talented and artistic former officemate at Starcom, offered to illustrate one of my poems while she continues to practice and enhance her drawing skills . Thus, the image above! Doesn't it remind you of Van Gogh's works? I can't be more grateful! Thank you, Ellie!

(click the title below to be redirected  to the original post of "The Admission")


***


I'm finding myself below
and I can see the light above
From a small opening
Twenty feet above me
I can scratch and claw
To try and reach liberty
But the walls are too slippery
And honestly,
The light has lost appeal to me

Would you believe
I've been here for years
And I've had hands try to pull me 
up from the floor
For a moment I'd believe
That they could help me stand
But a cripple can walk farther
than the weak-willed, abled man

I'd cry for help in darkness
where I know no one could hear
In case somebody does come
I would run away in fear
I pretend to be a lion
When inside I'm a helpless prey
Haunted by the absence
of something to chase

Sympathy repels me
Yet, it's what I need
Before someone sees my frailties
I would cut the strings
I'll entrance you with music
Wear pride as a disguise
A smokescreen of lies
Hide this fraud from your eyes

***


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12.7.17

Push And Pull


I swear, I'm kinda "SHOOKT" these past few days. I can't get something out of my head. It's like that line from Ellie Goulding's song: "My heart don't understand why I got you on my mind." CHARET! Ang arte ko, bakit ba ako ganito? Hahaha! Eww, sumi-sixteen years old. Magtigil.

Anyway, of course I took it out to Spotify last night and like any other muni-muni segments of my life that's supported by background music, my new playlist brought new phrases into my head and compelled me to write something--anything that provides an outlet for feels. This is one of the reasons why I hate leaving Twitter. I'm usually able to satisfy my feels just by posting lines that I like from the songs I love. But since I can't do that anymore, I needed another venue to channel my emotions. Lels. Therefore, this. I'm not sure why I came up with this push and pull theme. Maybe because my previous entries were about avoiding feelings and being scared of making a move that my mind has had enough and chose to end the endless guessing game now. Lol. 

***
I'll take whispers
If that's the only way you can tell me
We're too close for comfort
We're too far to hear each other's hearts

I will, if you will
Say it and I'll echo your words
The same thoughts are running
Why can't we face what's obvious here

This space in between
That only courage can cut through
Tell me what you're thinking
I'll confirm what's on your mind

I will, if you will
Our someday is now
Let's say the words we need to hear
Get our doubts out of the way

I won't move if you step closer
I've waited too long to back out
Come to me without reluctance
This push and pull ends now

***

P.S. I'm also including links to the songs I've been listening to lately para damay-damay naAt siyempre naisama si kumareng Selena Gomez. ;) 


PLAYLIST



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11.7.17

Strangers



When you regret your decision but you're no longer qualified for a second chance.... 

***
I was minding my stride 
when the wind made me turn, 
and I saw you there, 
looking just as perfect as you had 
when I was the one holding your hand.

A smile slowly tugged on my lips, 
and for a second I was willing
to mend the string I've cut heartlessly. 
For a moment, I wanted to rely on a maybe. 
Maybe...you still wanted me?

But my hopes quickly ran empty
as your gaze went right through me. 
Colorless and without emotion, 
as if I was just part of the crowd; 
as if I was less than a "used to be"; 
as if I was someone who never was anyone to you.

I felt a smile slowly tug on my lips. 
For a second I was trying 
to ignore the sting on my chest. 
Because I had no right to fall apart 
when I chose to run
from the only thing that held me together.

Your inattention made it easy 
to walk past you without a greeting. 
Minding my stride 
while you disappear at the corner, 
like the strangers that we are.

***
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13.6.17

This Is Your Poem


Aaand I made another one. Yes, it's true. I'm so talented that I wrote two poems on the same day, one immediately after the other. My gosh, the world is so lucky to have me. LOL.

Ego aside, I'm just so in the mood to write right now. Blame it on Lang Leav...and korean drama. LOL! Anyway, this one has the usual theme. About new but unwanted feelings and the effort to contain it, but the walls are weak and begin to crumble down...so she expresses through writing. ;)

P.S. The title is a tweaked version of the line from Elton John's "Your Song."

***

I didn't expect you.
I didn't expect my reaction to your presence.
Just standing there,
Etching your name on my skin with every stare.

I didn't want you.
Not even when you opened your heart.
Not until you stood in my way,
revealing your thoughts with your eyes.

I regret looking through you.
I regret seeing the uncertainty, the plea.
Your eyes begged for mine to give you answers;
and I felt compelled to respond.

You've entrapped me and you don't even know.
Or are you feigning ignorance?
I've wandered too far into your territory;
and I find myself in a labyrinth of truths and denials.

I want to escape from you,
yet I'm the one embracing you.
I'm enchanted by your subtlety;
how you speak loudly in your silence.

I sense I'll keep writing about you,
in place of words I will not let you hear,
in place of smiles I will not let you see.
Let my pen walk you through the answers you seek from me.

***

GIF from https://www.tumblr.com/search/i%20like%20you%20gifs
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