How Can I Get Your Love

Natatawa ako kay Anne Curtis. Recently she's been expressing her fondness for Korean dramas. She's one of the neophytes in the growing community of mga nilamon ng K-drama. At first I thought she only liked Gong Yoo (which of course, I didn't take lightly as she posed a threat to his and my potential marriage. LOL!) But then last night I saw these screenshots from Twitter of Anne liking and commenting on Lee Sung Kyung's Instagram posts:

 

 

May pa-"yeppeuda" na si ateng! Stage 4 na ang k-drama virus. Hahaha! Anyway, I can't blame her. Lee Sung Kyung is very girl-crush material. She embodies all my frustrations.  She started as a model so she has long legs than can bridge South Korea and Japan (ito pa lang, pack-up na). Apart from acting, she can also sing, dance, and play the piano--and I don't just mean playing para masabi lang na marunong, unlike someone I know (me. Lels). This girl's got "SUHWEEGGG!" 

Like everyone else, I learned about LSK's existence through her most recent drama, Weightlifting Fairy. I am CRRRAZYYY about this drama I can't even express how much. I watched it just this month because may paandar ako na I don't like watching popular dramas while they're airing (except Goblin, because Gong Yoo) kasi nga I'm unconventional kuno, only to give in months later and be addicted to them just like the rest. Late bloomer ako, sorry.

Anyway, even though I'm more inclined to fangirl over female celebrities, in the "Weightlifting" drama I found myself more hooked on Jeong Joon Hyung (male lead played by Nam Joo Hyuk). HE IS THE SWEETEST GUY IN THE WHOLE, WIDE, K-DRAMA WORLD. Forget Kim Shin (Goblin), Joon Hyung is every bit the boyfriend every girl could hope for. He's sensitive, caring, sweet, very expressive of his affection for Bok Joo (LSK), loyal, supportive, loves his family, and has just the right amount of playfulness in him. He's dependable and Bok Joo can be herself around him without apprehensions, and they encourage each other to be better, too. Bok Joo, how to be you po?

YES, JOON HYUNG, I CAN SEE! 

SIGH. This is one of the drawbacks of watching too many k-dramas. It gets you frustrated when you're done watching because a character like Joon Hyung is a unicorn. Fictional. Unreal. Mythical. Nonexistent. A fantasy. Or is he? May katulad ba talaga niya, Lord? Pwede pong magpa-reserve? LOL.

Even though I'm done watching the drama I'm still repeating some of the episodes, and even still search for clips on Instagram. I really love Joon Hyung, he makes my heart flutter. CHAROT! Tume-twenties? Hahaha! The drama has some great songs on its soundtrack, too! Kim Jong Wan, the lead singer of my favorite Korean-indie band Nell, has a track in the album and it was Bok Joo and Joon Hyung's theme in the drama. Naturally, it's been on loop in my Spotify for the past few days. KJW's voice really has that calming effect and his songs are very coffee shop playlist-worthy. Another one of my favorites is "I'll Pick You Up" by Standing Egg, a k-indie band that I also follow. Check them out below:

WEIGHTLIFTING FAIRY KIM BOK JOO
OST PICKS

YOU and I - Kim Jong Wan (Nell)

How can I get your love
How can I make you smile
This heart-pounding fluttering feeling
Is coloring my heart

What can I do but dream
Living in a dream all day
I wanna have courage and invite you
Will you come to me? In my dream?

I don’t know where this feeling came from
Only I know about this small trembling
I’m trapped in a sandcastle that I made myself, like a little boy
I’m still lost, looking for that dream
Shall we dream together now
You and I

How can I win your heart
How can I make You mine
Very slowly, I will tell you
Will you come to me? To a dream we can share

I don’t know where this feeling came from
Only I know about this small trembling
I’m trapped in a sandcastle that I made myself, like a little boy
I’m still lost, looking for that dream
Shall we dream together now
You and I

I'LL PICK YOU UP - Standing Egg

The love that withered inside of me

Has it come back to life

In my calm heart

You brought butterflies

Today more than yesterday

Tomorrow more than today

If I only have you, I think I’ll be happy

I’ll pick you up, wherever you are

Is it too late? I’ll run to you

I’ll pick you up, so you won’t regret

I’ll wait for you

I’ll pick you up right now

Your normally bright face

Why is it so dark today?

You are the sweet rain

That fell in my dry heart

Today more than yesterday

Tomorrow more than today

If I only have you, I will brightly smile

I’ll pick you up, wherever you are

Is it too late? I’ll run to you

I’ll pick you up, so you won’t regret

I’ll wait for you

I’ll pick you up right now

Because you colored a pretty rainbow inside of me

There is a bright smile on my face

The only one person, I’ll pick you up

Just one time, a little more

Will you place me inside of you?

Today more than yesterday

Tomorrow more than today

If I only have you, I think I’ll be happy

I’ll pick you up, wherever you are

Is it too late? I’ll run to you

I’ll pick you up, so you won’t regret

I’ll wait for you

I’ll pick you up right now

DREAM - Han Hee Jung

I’ve been hesitating for a while
In front of the time that is to come
I go back and forth from excitement and worry
Over and over again
Time keeps rushing me
We’re suddenly at the end of the road
I’m dreaming, I hope it will be eternal happiness
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be green days ahead
Even if cold wind blows over to us
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be more smiling days
Than days wet with tears
Although the seasons change
Can’t we just stay as we are?
I’m dreaming, I hope it will be eternal happiness
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be green days ahead
Even if cold wind blows over to us
I’m dreaming, I hope there will be more smiling days
Than days wet with tears


*end*

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30-Day Song Challenge (Days 7-12)

Aaaand I'm back with another set of songs for the 30-Day Song Challenge which I will compress into approximately 5 days because I don't have enough patience to do the whole 1 month stretch. LOL. Let's move right on to days 7-12:

DAY 7: A Song To Drive To

I have a variety of songs that I like to listen to while driving, but below are the regulars.

** NOBODY'S FAULT BUT MINE by Led Zeppelin - nothing like a a good rock song to keep you pumped up behind the wheel. Recommended when the road is wide and uncrowded.

** HOWLIN' FOR YOU / YOUR TOUCH by The Black Keys - I love this duo. You can bob your head and rock out when there's too much traffic during rush hours. Who cares if the people in the jeepney in front are watching you? :))

** HALLUCINATE by Oliver Riot

** ONLY FOR YOU by Heartless Bastards

** ULAY OH by How I Became The Bomb

** I'M HERE NOW / WAIT FOR ME by Motopony

I listen to these four and other similar songs during easy driving...like when I'm not in a hurry to get somewhere, or when I'm on my way home at night where everything is in slow motion and your mind has the liberty to wander (though make sure you don't wander too far from the road ahead of you. lol).

DAY 8: A Song About Drugs Or Alcohol

** ALAPAAP by Eraserheads - I loved this song when I was younger because the lyrics sounded so free(?). When I got older I realized what the song was referring to but just the same, I still like it because it gives a feeling liberation.

DAY 9: A Song That Makes You Happy

** CAN'T STOP THE FEELING by Justin Timberlake - my ultimate mood booster. When having a ho-hum day, I can trust JT to make me get up and dance and move my a$$.

** YOU AND I by Ingrid Michaelson - I don't know why but this song just puts me in a good mood. It's cute and relaxed and somewhat dreamy.

** SHAKE IT OFF by Taylor Swift - Yes, I do listen to the occasional Tay-tay. This song's lyrics is straightforward and not the slightest attempt at being poetic but in moments when life throws all the crap at you, you just need to shake it off! LOL

DAY 10: A Song That Makes You Sad

** CHANGE OF TIME by Josh Ritter - this song has the saddest melody in the world. Listen to it once and you'll agree. Though I still have this in my playlist for times when I need to enhance the emo mood. :D

** SLEEP ALL DAY by Jason Mraz - Like I've said in the previous post, Jason Mraz brings back specific memories from college which generally have no relation to the message of his songs. This particular song reminds me of a very stressful hell week of exams and papers when I was still taking up an engineering course. This song was on when I was cramming for exams while deciding whether to shift to another course or not. So whenever I hear it, the anxiety and nervousness are brought back so that I'd suddenly feel heavy. Yeah, I'm just weird like this. Lol.

DAY 11: A Song You Never Get Tired Of

** BACK TO YOU by John Mayer  - the first John Mayer song I've ever loved and will continue to love until I die. When I play my songs at random and this comes on, I never, ever skip it. That's true love. :))

DAY 12: A Song From Your Pre-teen Years

** REMEMBER ME THIS WAY by Jordan Hill - Two words: Devon Sawa. Oh man, he was all the rage to us girls who barely hit puberty in the 90s. He opened the gates to celebrity crushes for me. LOL. His short appearance in Casper was more than enough to have us all singing this song anywhere in school. And then he appeared in Now and Then, which was my all-time favorite movie. I tell people I loved the movie because of the friendship of the 4 girls, but I think subconsciously, the real reason is because he's in it.

** LOVEFOOL by The Cardigans - Another movie soundtrack, this time from the DiCaprio film version of Romeo and Juliet. I was so in with the star-crossed lovers shizz. I remember waiting on MTV just to see the music video. I mean, just look at cute fetus Leo.

** END **

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30-Day Song Challenge (Days 1-6)

So I got this off Twitter and thought it would be interesting to do this challenge. However, being the low-EQ individual that I am, I decided to give answers for Days 1-6 all at once in this blog entry. I can't stand to wait for a few days to share the songs I like. I get allergies from waiting...I'm not really very persevering. LOL. Moreover, I might have several answers for one category because I'm indecisive like that. I can never pick a favorite to save my life. Like I said, I have very low EQ. I will fail a marshmallow test before it even starts. :D

Anyway, I try to share songs that I like whenever I can and thought this challenge was an interesting way to do it. So here goes...

DAY 1: A Song You Like With A Color In The Title

** RED ORANGE GREEN by Emma Pollock - I have a weird fondness for songs with creepy, haunting melodies. I don't know why. I even made this my ringtone for a time. The MV is very Tim Burton (who's also amazing, by the way).



** YELLOW by Coldplay - Of course. When you talk color-titled songs, you can never not include Yellow. This song actually has a nostalgic effect on me. I used to listen to this all the time in my dorm during my 1st year in college and daydream about my dorm crush. Hmm...I wonder where he is now.



** NEW BLACK CAR by July For Kings - I've always listened to this when driving because...well, I drive a black car. LOL. Shallowness aside, this was about lovers who are wondering how the other is doing as the girl went off to college and the guy had his own thing going on, too.

DAY 2: A Song You Like With A Number In The Title

** 1000 THINGS by Jason Mraz - There's a strong association between Jason Mraz and the latter part of my college years. Some of his songs bring back very specific memories from that part of my life--even if the memories don't really have any relation to the message of the song. This one was a staple in my playlist. It sucks that he didn't release a studio version of this.

** 9 CRIMES by Damien Rice - This is song is melancholic AF. And this guy is a modern poet to me. His has created that unique Damien Rice sound and a number of his songs are very poetic in my opinion. I loved this song so much that I tried to play it on piano (thank you, Damien for making it easy to play). By the way there's a floating head in the MV. You've been warned.



** 4 AND 20 by Joss Stone - I do have my own list of sultry songs. This was from the soundtrack of Valentine's Day. It's about a woman getting frustrated from waiting for a guy to make his move. So she gave him a 24-hour ultimatum. Yeah, you go girl! Show these men who's boss. LOL

DAY 3: A Song That Remind You Of Summertime

** SAY HEY (I LOVE YOU) by Michael Franti & Spearhead - sometimes even I am surprised by how dynamic my playlist is. I don't know what made me download this song, but I have it in my folder and never deleted it. It has that summer vibe and I even used it as bgm for our Bohol trip one summer. :)



** NINE IN THE AFTERNOON by Panic! At The Disco - This song reminds me of hot, humid afternoons meant for siestas. :)

DAY 4: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone You'd Rather Forget

** COME OUT OF THE SHADE by The Perishers - You know what's even more frustrating than not getting the person? Not knowing the reason you wanted them in the first place. There's a thin line between loving the person and just loving the feeling of being special to someone. So would you risk what the 2 of you have for something you're not even sure you want? So yeah. Ayon na nga. ANYWAY, moving on...



** STUPID CUPID by Aubrey Bouskill - Ah, this song will always be about that person.

DAY 5: A Song That Needs To Be Played Loud 

Honestly I think any song I'm in the mood to listen to is worth turning up the volume for, but I'm picking out a few which recently literally get me reaching for the volume knob when I hear them.

** MOVING ON AND GETTING OVER / STILL FEEL LIKE YOUR MAN by John Mayer - You just know his name's going to pop out one way or the other. Needless to say, I'd turn the volume up on any John Mayer song but these 2 are currently my favorites out of his new album so...

** ILYSB by LANY - this song is so simple but there's something about the falsetto that just makes you want to sing along in full volume.

** CLOSE by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo - maybe for the same reason as ILYSB...the falsetto. :)

DAY 6: A Song That Makes You Want To Dance

Okay you have to brace yourself for this one. I'm a frustrated Jabbawockeez member (lol) so I got a lot of songs in this category. You'd notice it's a mix of oldies and newbies plus I threw in some K-pop in there (and by some, I mean a lot) and of course, Queen Britney. This playlist is an honest to goodness list of songs that make me pull an impromptu dance break like a legitimate Step Up sequel. LOL! I don't care if I'm in the bathroom, or in my car, or lining up at McDonald's...I will dance if I hear any of these songs. 

***

Aaand that's it for Days 1-6! :)

read more "30-Day Song Challenge (Days 1-6)"

Hold Onto Me

I can't think of an introduction for this piece so I'll just drop it here raw. It's a song, I think. :)

***

Hold onto me

If you don't plan to leave,

Then grab my hand tightly

'Cause I'm not capable 

Of making people stay

They all drift away

Walk beside me

If you intend to go along this road with me,

Take heed

I have been too used to letting go

Can't take another scar anymore

I have tried embraces

They just seem to suffocate

So I gave a little distance

But someone came to fill the space

So this time I'll be standing still

And let you run and come to me

There's love in me

Waiting for the one 

Who thinks that I'm worthy 

To hold onto 'til the end

So understand why

I won't hold your hand 

'Til you reach for mine

There's no need for flowers

I need what they signify

I may come off needy,

But there's a reason why

There's so much doubt building

From all the past goodbyes

So hold my hand only if

You will for a long time

-end-

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The Positive Song

It was raining yesterday so it seemed like the perfect weekend--cold weather on a Sunday afternoon just lazing at home (as if I needed a rainy day to be lazy. lol).  Most of the time, gloomy weather gets me emo and well, for a while it did, as I was browsing melancholic British and Korean indie songs on Spotify to intensify the gloominess. Haha! But in the midst of it I managed to grab my guitar and just played some random chords and somehow ended up writing a happy song. It's such a bright, hopeful song that I had to pat myself on the back for creating something so positive out of the sadness in my heart. CHOS! :))

Anyway this does, in a way, represent my perspective in life. At times when I would be all "why don't I have that," or "why is this happening to me," I would look around me and realize I'm pretty much all good and blessed. Things could have been worse, but I'm lucky I'm in a more stable place. This happens during my strongest and most mentally able times so I'm not saying I'm this well-grounded, but the point is that I try and choose to be strong. The second you make this choice, you're done with self-pitying and have resolved the problem without even knowing. :) So yeah, choose happiness. See the brighter side of things. When your world loses color, appreciate the contrast of things in black and white. Have faith in God. He has plans beyond our level of understanding. :)

***

I'd never have imagined feeling this good

Usually the rain would always dampen my mood

Now it seems my feet can't wait to jump in the puddle

Let the rain fall on my face

The sun can shine tomorrow

I could shake the dirt off the soles of my shoes

But what would be the proof of the places I've been to?

I could wipe the fog off of the windows

But then I won't be able to draw hearts with my fingers

Oh, we all fall down

But we can turn it around

Just get back up and smile for the crowd

And if it's dancing that

Gets you through,

Then move to the rhythm

And if it's singing that

Makes you smile,

Then sing a bit louder

'Cause the shadows they

Will always be

Following close behind

But if you try to see the brighter side

Then you'll be alright

See that half full glass of water?

That window near the closed door?

That endless rainbow after a rainy day?

It's never the situation

It's all about perspective

It will be how you choose it to be

'Cause we...we all fall down

But we can turn it around

Just get back up and smile for the crowd

And if it's dancing that

Gets you through,

Then move to the rhythm

And if it's singing that

Makes you smile,

Then sing a bit louder

'Cause the shadows they

Will always be

Following close behind

But if you try to see the brighter side

Then you'll be alright

***

read more "The Positive Song"

Who You Are

Hello there.

I woke up with a fever today and I didn't want to just lie down and surrender to head and body aches, so I decided to write myself an encouraging poem/song (I'm trying to get a decent melody for this but the fever is making me lazy).

So here. I honestly don't know what I'm trying to get at, but whatever. It rhymes so... :)

***

Don't fall off the edge

You of all people know what's best for you

Instead of all the shifting

Commit to the story you've been writing

Who knows how we'll end up?

Who knows where we'll be?

The moment that you wake up

Is when it all begins

They'll point a finger at you

They'll tell you where to go

And once again you're in between

Who you are and who you want to be

Don't stray from the line

Everybody's got their own ride to mind

You might find yourself winning

Or losing,

What matters is you're trying

And who knows how we'll end up?

Who knows where we'll be?

The moment that you wake up

Is when it all begins

They'll point a finger at you

They'll tell you where to go

And once again you're in between

Who you are and who you want to be

Stand up,

Make up for yesterday's faults

Never stop for 2nd thoughts

When shadows hide from morning light

You're closer to the you

You have in mind

***

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Curiosity

I needed to write this. I'm also slightly reminded of my other entry, La Douleur Exquise, which by weird coincidence, was written around the same time last year. It was a different experience but both revolve around curiosity. The first was a curiosity about what could happen, while here the curiosity is about why I'm even drawn to someone something...when there shouldn't be any reason in the first place...

...right?

Right. Anyway, this is about a futile attempt at going against feelings. But we all know that the minute you become even the slightest bit interested...the moment you become curious, you'll find yourself on a one-way street. John Mayer knew it. Selena Gomez sang it:

"You love who you love."
"The heart wants what it wants."

So I don't know why we even try resisting. LOL.

***

What are you?

A flicker of light

From the corner of my eye

Too faint to be worthy of my time

But somehow I

Feel the need to find you

What are you?

The scent of spring 

From someone's skin

A fragrance vague within the mist

But somehow I

Feel the need to follow you

Something pulls me to you

And it leaves me confused

Why I'm here,

Staring at the riddle that you are

There's a beat I'm missing

This uncertain yearning

I have every reason not to,

But I want to know you

What are you?
The sound of droplets
From a distant rain
And suddenly my mouth feels dry
Now somehow I
Need to chase you

Who are you

To cause an unwitting smile

Across my lips?

There's no one else

Who's had me so perplexed

But you.

Just you.

read more "Curiosity"

The Breakup Song

Always. Always. ALWAYS. When I have to do something I always have this itch to write instead. Like it's my excuse to procrastinate. Before, it was more of the petty activities like cutting my nails, or snipping the ends of my hair, or the sudden urgent need to re-decorate my room. Now it's writing. On the bright side, the excuses have developed into something more...productive? Yes? No?

No. An excuse is still an excuse. And the delays are not getting shorter. I'm going to work on a better self now. Or later... after I've finished posting this. And maybe a little more after I've worked on a melody for this song/poem. This is obviously more important. LOL.

Here's another one of my sad stuff. I love drama. It feeds my soul. Lelz. I dedicate this to the people who are only meant to endure...those built to never know happiness. BOOM. :))

***

You tuck yourself to bed

Beside me

And once again

We let the night referee

The silent war 

That we've been in lately

Alas, I am a woman

Alas, my instincts are strong

And while you pretend to still love me

I know, 

You've already let go

I had seen this coming

Whenever you sigh when you speak

I've always had this feeling

That you weren't mine to keep

Our ending had been obvious

But I still kept a blind eye

My intuition has never failed me

Oh, what I'd give to be wrong, this time

Time was never patient

With me

It's always been 

too short, too long

And I have been happy

For a while now

With you

So I knew

It was bound to end soon

read more "The Breakup Song"

Playing It Safe

"Hello my old heart, are you still there inside my chest?
...Everyday I add another stone to the walls I built around you, to keep you safe....It's true, you'll never beat, but you'll never break."

- Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos

Ah. Hello. Remember my blog entry about why I'm single?

No?

Let me remind you. Read it here: The One. Lol

So I'm back to sound-tripping on Spotify and I heard this song by The Oh Hellos. And it's so on point with how I justify my choices related to matters of the heart. To have seen and felt pain, you of course decide to avoid it at all costs...even if it means you'll never love again. Because you'd rather not know love than suffer the pain that comes with it. Like how some people (me included) haven't really tried caviar, even though many say it tastes really good. But we're still okay with our lives sans caviar. We're happy eating other food. It doesn't really matter and our days go about fine. For all we know, we wouldn't like caviar if we've tasted it ourselves. ;)

read more "Playing It Safe"

[VIDEO] Buwan (An Original Song)

Have you ever just stared at the moon and wondered what it sees? Or if it is trying to observe the people below it?

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[VIDEO] Ayos Lang (An Original Song)

The list of the Top 100 entries for the 2016 Philpop Songwriting Competition is here! See the results here: http://www.philpop.com.ph/top-100-entries.html

read more "[VIDEO] Ayos Lang (An Original Song)"

In-Betweens (An Original Song)

So. I've been following Philpop (@philpopmusic) and Mr. Ryan Cayabyab (@ryancayabyab) on Twitter to get some inspiration on songwriting from time to time. And then I saw them post about Philpop's call for entries for it's 2016 run. I pondered on it for a long time, because let's face it, my so-called songs are only suited for my own ears (lol) and are not really commercial material...more so, fitting for the pop genre. 

But then I figured, what the heck, it won't hurt to try. If you can recall my post about my past Friendster blog, I regretted the fact that I let go of the chance to send an application to the Amazing Race Asia (even though the chance of making it was slim). Now history is repeating itself and I have no intention of adding another item on my list of regrets.

So, I forced myself to write an English song right on the 1st day of the year. I didn't post it here yet because that would forfeit the entry as per Philpop's rules. But I realized later on that Philpop is an OPM competition, so I might as well write a Filipino song...which was a welcomed challenge for me since I'm used to writing in English (and speaking in Bisaya). Thus, I wrote 2 more songs -- my 3rd and 4th Tagalog ones -- last January 8 and 28, respectively. I even tried my hand in music arranging for the 1st entry, combining guitar and keyboards, and it ended up sounding messy. Welp, whatever, I still sent it. LOL. For the 2nd entry, because I have a steep learning curve, I ditched the keyboard and just stuck with my guitar. Lelz.

I'm not very confident about my entries -- if at all. I'm pitting my meager work against people who have been making music since they learned to walk, mostly from the talented younger generation who could play instruments (and I mean, really play) and arrange music like it's the most natural thing to do. Mind you, these are people who have a complete home recording studio -- condenser microphones and all. I, on the other hand, used my trusty Samsung Galaxy Note 2, a voice recording application from Google Play, and the ever reliable (and free) Audacity. So, that said, I think I have a pretty good chance at winning. LOL!

Anyway, I'm joining for my songwriting skill(??), not for my singing talent(??!?!). Like I said on my "About" page, I just sing because no one else would sing my songs. I mean, why would anyone, right? Hahaha! Yeah, but just so we're clear...I write because I want to, I sing because I have to. :P I don't really expect to win though. Basically I'm just trying to see if anyone else (besides myself) thinks my "songs" are worth his time. 

So this was my first attempt written January 1, which I didn't submit. I'll post my 2 actual entries later when the competition is over because yes, I still want to believe I have even the smallest chance at making it in the Top 1000, at least. So I'm not risking any technical violations. Bwahaha.

This song is about short-lived relationships that actually feel truer than most long-term relationships combined. That guy who was your "one that got away," and that one love affair that marked you but regretfully had to end because of unavoidable circumstances.

P.S. I'm still contemplating on whether to post my video here or not so until then...

***

Oh, how love sparks feelings of regret

When it's a mistake on the onset

A present for the wrong recipient

Were we really meant to have met?

A case of should I stay or should I go

When ambitions come to separate our roads

Only momentary happiness

A trivial part of our existence

A whirlwind romance

A spiteful game of chance

But so far the realest I've experienced

At the end of the day my heart goes out to you

You're still the one it goes home to

How ever I conceal the truth

It knows, it knows...

A special kind of memory

My mind wanders off easily

And though I am unwilling

Still it grows, it grows...

All this time we try to navigate

Mapping roads to find a soulmate

But in-betweens are still a part of fate

The markers that remind you of the choices that you made

A whirlwind romance

A spiteful game of chance

But so far the best time that we've ever had

Oh

Inspite of myself

I feel my heart beat...

Heart beating for you

Despite the goodbyes

I still keep building

Could-have beens with you 

read more "In-Betweens (An Original Song)"

This Year's Love

"If you love me, got to know for sure. 'Cause it takes something more this time than sweet lies, before I open up my arms and fall."

- This Year's Love by David Gray 

Not even 24 hours later and I already have another entry about a song. WHAT, is there a problem?

No? Okay, good.

read more "This Year's Love"

Before Someone Gets Hurt

WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

It's been a while since I've listened to A Fine Frenzy. I think the last ones on my playlist were You Picked Me and Borrowed Time. It's nice to hear her again. This one's lyrics are very simple, but I loved the twist at the end.

read more "Before Someone Gets Hurt"

It Didn't Happen To Me

"Oh, how you laughed at my complete lack of grace. But I could not recall a more perfect fall, 'cause when I looked up into your eyes, it didn't hurt at all."

- Be Still My Heart by The Postal Service

Aaaand I'm back with another love song.

This time from The Postal Service. This song is 10 years old, and the band has already released its last and final album 2 years ago. But it's my first time hearing it after listening to this playlist on Spotify.

I have missed this kind of sound since Owl City. A former colleague did mention before that she thinks "Owl City is a Postal Service rip-off" (verbatim), but I still didn't bother listening to them (even though a few of their other songs are somehow on my iPod). But maybe if she shoved this song in my ears I would have changed my mind and agreed.

I loved the song's ironic story. That beautiful moment when you think someone's just going to pass by you again, but s/he chose to stay and actually enjoys being there with you...unbelievably so. And you say to yourself, "I could have sworn it was all a dream, and it didn't happen to me." But it did. :)

read more "It Didn't Happen To Me"

I've Made Up My Mind

"Keep pressing rewind but I'm getting older. Tried every door, don't know who I'm looking for. I've made up my mind over and over."

- Gone by JR JR

I have a new theme song in life. LOL. Just read the above lines again. How apt are they?????

read more "I've Made Up My Mind"

Wala Ka Na Pala

"Di na ba dapat pang maghintay? Ako lang ba ang nagkasala? Kumakapit sa natitirang sana."

-Sana by Up Dharma Down

Don't you just love Up Dharma Down? I do. I love the way they write the lyrics. As if Armi is really just speaking out her feelings in an edgy, straightforward kind of way, but then still manages to make it poetic somehow. And the musical arrangement is very uniquely UDD. Just listen to the intros of Indak, Luna, and Tadhana and you'll notice how they have a different impact compared to other songs by other artists. If I ever form a band (yes, it's one of my frustrations in life), I would probably try to copy Up Dharma Down. Hahaha. I guess we know why this dream was never actualized. #copycat

Anyway, I'm obviously a fan. And I've been keeping this song on loop for the past week though I have no idea why. I just like how the lyrics grip on the emotions one feels when trying to forget someone who has clearly moved on. As they say, the real challenge of a break up is making sure you'll move on before the other does. If you fail, well, this UDD song has got your long, emo nights covered. LOL.

read more "Wala Ka Na Pala"

[VIDEO] TAGUAN: AN ALDUB ENTRY (An Original Song)

I'm sure you saw this coming. It has been almost 2 months now since I became an accidental ALDUB fan. It's really funny how my world has flipped. I was in fact very skeptical about this "phenomenal love team," thinking it's just another pairing that's going to be all cutesy on TV. Until that fateful afternoon when I was stuck in my condo in Manila where I didn't have cable channels....

read more "[VIDEO] TAGUAN: AN ALDUB ENTRY (An Original Song)"

[VIDEO] One And Thirty (An Original Song)

Di na napigilan. Sabi nga ni Alden Richards, "What's bound to happen will find its way." So eto na nga, my age found its way to 31 years. Haha! Oddly, I felt very differently compared to my other birthdays in the past. I usually would be very unwilling to celebrate getting a year older. Especially last year, when I had to say goodbye to my 20s.

But today I woke up and realized, "Grabe, ang ganda at napakatalented kong tao. And 31 years na akong ganito." 

LOL! Birthday ko, pagbigyan. 

When I was 20 years old, my vision of myself 10 years later was so different from who I was at the time, so I figured I would slowly try to change towards that "new me."

And here I am, 11 years later...

Absolutely the same as I was and nowhere near my envisioned 30-year old version. But contrary to the usual emotions I had--regret, disappointment, and frustration--I now feel very unburdened, and hopeful for things to come. I used to think that I wasted my youth, and that I had lived a passive life. I still think I did, and I know that there are things that I can no longer do. But then, I have been looking at a half-empty glass all these years, and that has to change now. Even though I cannot re-engineer the past, I can still mold the future. There are so many other things that I can still do and explore moving forward, so that I won't be feeling regretful again.

I don't know if dahil 'to sa nakain kong durian, but I now have a renewed confidence in myself (oo, hindi pa ako confident sa lagay na yon dati). I am slowly learning to be more comfortable in my own skin. I am aware of my eccentricity (thus, the blog title) and would catch myself trying to cover it up in my attempt to seem normal (haha). And then I read this quote on Facebook:

"Work for a CAUSE, not for applause. Live life to EXPRESS, not to impress. Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just MAKE YOUR ABSENCE FELT."

In short, the art of keberness. Do what you want to do. Don't try to belong to a circle, draw your own. BOOM. Paki-patent please.

Anyway, that said, I will continue writing these things that I like to call songs or poems, dahil gusto ko lang, kung hindi niyo ikakagalit. :) Music has been a passion ever since I was a fetus (no, kidding. My mama would play the radio right beside her belly when she was pregnant with me), and I have always loved reading analogies to life and love. Put them together and what have we got? My very awesome songs, of course. Haha! But seriously, I don't aim to become the next Taylor Swift or something (but it would nice if I get John Mayer's attention /wink with matching beautiful eyes/). This is an outlet for me, and if it can inspire anyone, or at least give people the courage to express themselves in any way, then that would be a plus.

Here's one I wrote on my birthday. Happy 31st to me!

(P.S. I've included a line here that I based from a story our parish priest shared during the homily last Sunday... about a man who got stranded on an island. He built a hut, but it burned down so he blamed God for not helping him. Turns out the smoke from the fire signaled a ship that happened to pass by, and so he was saved.

So thank You, GOD for continuing to carry me, even during my darkest days when I had also questioned Your ways. I have lived 31 years surrounded by Your blessings. I believe You have Your plan for me. And on my part, I will continue to make good use of the life You gave me.)

***

Another year, another candle to wish on

Another hope, a longer rope to hang on

It's that time of the year

The past reappears

To see how far you've gone

One and thirty years and still no clue

What now? What's ahead? What is left to do?

Stared at my reflection

"You had it wrong," it said,

"There's no destination

You'll see where you are when this ends."

Everyday is a war and each day is a fight

One's never prepared but required to strike

If I lose to the fire, let the smoke send the sign

That I've lived my life

My path could stray 'cause heart won over mind

I'd try 'til I burn looking for what I find

When time calls us out to recall our lives

Mine would be worth the while

At 31 you can't avoid

Expectations fenced around your voice

Just shout it all out, let the light hit your skin

It's all black and white, you lose or you win

Only when you jump blindly will you find out

If you can fly

My path could stray 'cause heart won over mind

I'd try 'til I burn looking for what I find

If I lose to the fire, let the smoke send the sign

That I've lived my life...

I would live my life...

Make it all worth the while...

read more "[VIDEO] One And Thirty (An Original Song)"

T-ARA (티아라) for BNT International (Video Compilation)

As I've mentioned in my other T-ARA entries, this group is basically being snubbed by any media body lately -- music shows, variety shows, magazines, radio programs -- because majority of their audience choose to cling to an age-old issue (that has been disproved over and over again, by the way). 

That's why the few publications who [still] pay attention to T-ARA win for themselves a nice, cozy place in my heart. 

Take BNT International, for example. I love this magazine so much I might kiss it on the lips.

When they first did a photoshoot for Jiyeon I understood they were riding on the hype of her promotion at that time for her solo album (Never Ever). They did the same for Hyomin when it was her turn to debut as a solo artist (Nice Body). But then they continued on to 2 separate photoshoots for Eunjung (a year before she would have her own solo stint), and then Boram, Qri, another one for Hyomin (because her fashion sense and flat abs deserve a second shoot) and just recently, Soyeon. Now all 6 members have modeled for BNT. And I find it worth commending because BNT takes really good photos (okay, maybe they went crazy with Eunjung's eyebrows and blush-on in her first shoot, but that's the only exception. The make-up on the succeeding shoots were not as taunting). 

Maybe it's the dominance of  dark tones on their photos, or just the fact that T-ARA members are the subjects (lol) that makes BNT's projects appealing to me. But anyway, for your own appreciation, below are the behind-the-scene videos of their individual photoshoots:

JIYEON:

HYOMIN:

QRI:



SOYEON:



BORAM:



EUNJUNG:

read more "T-ARA (티아라) for BNT International (Video Compilation)"